No name for this story yet...

When I was a little girl my grandmother sometimes use to tell me truths before I went to bed. It wasn't like the stories my older brother or father read to me, they didn't come from a book, and they weren't made up. She told me that that white people use to have slaves at one time, that they treated them like pets only much worse because they were people and they had to do tricks that were unpleasant and sometimes cruel to satisfy their masters. She told me about china and how most of my clothes were made their by underprivileged women and sometimes children who would get paid under a dollar for an entire day of work and that even though they appreciated it because it helped them feed their family, they were treated poorly, kind of like the slaves white people use to have only worse because paying them money somehow made it okay. My grandmother told me kind truths too, like not only was peanut butter yummy, it was also very healthy for you to eat because it had vitamin e in it which was good for protecting your body against cancer.

My mother died during child birth which is why my grandmother and I were so close. My brother told me she moved in with my dad and him to help with me when I was a newborn and just never left which was nice because she wasn't my father's mother, she was my mother's mother. When I found out who's mother she was it made me happy because I thought my mother must have been just like her, kind, loving, and full of happy and sad truths. I never actually asked her or anyone what my mother was like because whenever her name was brought up, everyone I loved became sad and uncomfortable and sort of quiet, and that was the opposite of how I wanted them to be.

Growing up everyone use to tell me that I had a big imagination. I use to have these friends Suzie and Jessica that I couldn't see but I could hear. My father and brother seemed to notice them at first, and would ask them questions like "how are you today Suzie" and "would Jessica like some ice cream too?" but they always ignored their replies. They were always with me and didn't seem to have a family like I did. They would keep me company, singing songs with me in the morning before I got out of bed, giving me ideas about what types of games to play with my barbie dolls, and telling me jokes when other people were around that would make me burst out laughing.

Around the age of 9 or 10 my brother and father began to get angry when I'd invite them into conversations or when I asked to be excused from my dinner to play outside with one of them. They began telling me that Jessica and Suzie weren't real, and my father got so angry once that he slammed the kitchen table really hard, and it seemed as though it would crack right in half. When I asked my grandmother why nobody else could hear or see Suzie and Jessica she told me it was because they were my guardian angels, and that nobody else was suppose to know they were there. She told me that my brother and father didn't have guardian angels, but that my mother must have sent me some because she knew I needed them. She said that they probably didn't want to believe me because they were jealous and sad that my mother didn't send them any guardian angels. I decided with my grandmother that it would be best to only speak to them when I was alone.

I realized soon after, that they could hear me even when I didn't speak out loud which was great because then I could no longer make my father and brother jealous or angry or sad about their presence.

Lets Live For Today

When I think of all the worries people seem to find
And how they're in a hurry to complicate their mind
By chasing after money and dreams that can't come true
I'm glad that we are different, we've better things to do
May others plan their future, I'm busy lovin' you (1-2-3-4)
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
And don't worry 'bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
Live for today
We were never meant to worry the way that people do
And I don't need to hurry as long as I'm with you
We'll take it nice and easy and use my simple plan
You'll be my lovin' woman, I'll be your lovin' man
We'll take the most from living, have pleasure while we can (2-3-4)
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
And don't worry 'bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
Live for today
Baby, I need to feel you inside of me
I got to feel you deep inside of me
Baby please come close to me
I got to have you now, please, please, please
Gimme some-a lovin', gimme some-a lovin'
Gimme some-a lovin', gimme some-a lovin'
Baby gimme some-a lovin'
Gimme some-a lovin, I need all your lovin'
Gimme some-a lovin, I need all your lovin'
Give me some love, now
I need all your lovin'
Sha la la la la la
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
And don't worry 'bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today.