Not Happy? Make A Change!

 I sometimes get frustrated when people in my life fall into patterns of dysfunctional behavior and are unable to become aware of it, stop it, and change it to solve their problems. Everyone is guilty of it at least during one time or another and it is normal and part of human nature but if this is how you move through an entire lifetime then what a waste! What is living if not also learning, changing, progressing in thought/action/spirituality/relationships? I do not like to dwell inside the problems in my life, I am solution orientated. Sure, I think some time is owed for venting, a little ruminating or brainstorming, but a fine line must be drawn between doing those things and stagnating in a dysfunctional behavior/thought, and avoiding a solution or in other words a change. I think many people get so caught up in their fears of change, the unknown, the "what if's" that they just continue stagnating or behaving/thinking in dysfunctional patterns because it is safe/known/comfortable for them. This is hard to really grasp deconstructing it all from an outsider position because what could be worse than staying in a dysfunctional thought/behavior? Logic would point to a desire to make a change, any change to improve the quality of one's life. Ex: "Johnny my boyfriend is abusive and calls me names, insults me constantly, refuses to hug me or even sleep in the same bed as me, and is constantly spending time with other girls" Anyone would agree that logically, this person should terminate their relationship with Johnny. It is surprising that logic is often ignored though. Many people fear that change could determine a worse outcome than the one they are currently experiencing...."Yeah, but if I leave Johnny then I will really be alone, their are no other guys out there who would ever date me, plus he helps me with some of the bills and I cannot pay then on my own." Instead of coming up with a plan to search for a second job, borrow money from a family member, or inquire about getting a roommate or temporarily living with a friend/family member until they are able to stand on their own two feet, this person quickly resolves to stay in the abusive relationship. Then their are others who do not trust their own perceptions, and talk themselves out of change "Oh, he really isn't that bad, I am exaggerating, I am really nasty to him too, sometimes I'll text an old boyfriend, we still have fun together". Of course their is always the real possibility that an alternative outcome could be worse than the current one or that one's perception of reality is falsely skewed but their are also real possibilities of change that include meeting new people, starting new hobbies, becoming involved in a new work place, learning more about yourself, etc.

What I have often done aside from reviewing past journal entries to search for a pattern of dysfunctional thoughts/behaviors is think about the length of time I have been unhappy about a particular situation. Personal Example:

I was unhappy working at my last job, this feeling consistently persisted over 1 year.

I then ask people in my life how often I speak about the situation I am in and whether it is mostly on good or bad terms.

At the time when I asked my friends/family if I spoke about my job in more positive terms/negative terms over the past couple of months they assured me it was mostly negative. Many of them had began to question my desire to enter the field of social work all together because of how frequently I talked about how much I didn't like my job.

I then spend time venting about my situation and brainstorming ways to change it with friends and family members.

I began doing the above with my friends and family who all gave me wonderful suggestions and who were excellent soundboards for ideas.

I then began sending out my resume, networking in my field and talking to anyone I could about my interest in job openings, applied to the same agency I was interested in working for 4 times at 3 different site locations, began working a a few hours weekly at a second job to get my foot in the door because they did not have any available full time positions. I also used visualization tactics (law of attraction) every night before bed for months!

It took 6 months but it worked and now I am working at a new job that I enjoy much more! Everything about my work life has changed for the better. I have a better schedule, I work with people I enjoy being around, I am developing better counseling skills, and getting the supervision I need to become licensed as a clinical social worker! Literally all aspects that I was unhappy with at my last job have been resolved! Sure, I imagined landing a job that I would dislike more than the the one I had, and I also wrestled with thoughts that maybe it wasn't so bad and I should maybe tough it out. I am so glad that I never gave into those thoughts because I wouldn't have achieved the satisfaction I have today without making a change!

Get Involved Connecticut!

I am always searching for ways to get involved in issues that I care about in the community but never know where to look or how to get involved. I figured I would make this group as a way to create a space with hope that people would share events/efforts that they are involved in that are making CT a better place! Please join if you are interested!

Get Involved Connecticut! 

Please join only if you live in or close by Connecticut (or visit frequently).

Poverty as a Structural Failing

(Graduate Work for Social Policy Course)

Poverty in the United States is not caused by cultural, individual deficiencies, or moral failings which is commonly thought to be the case, but by the structural economic failing of the government. These structural forces include a lack of resources and opportunities for low income people to better their lives economically. It is because the majority of those living in poverty are falsely depicted as individually flawed and undeserving that social policy in the U.S. is unable to adequately addresses the structural problems of poverty, and is therefore unable to help those rise above the poverty line permanently.

Many Americans develop their ideas about individuals in poverty based on how they are represented in the mainstream media. In a journal article titled Poverty as We Know It authors Clawson and Trice (2000) discuss their media research on representations of poverty and mention: “the media often describe the underclass in behavioral terms as criminals, alcoholics, and drug addicts, and the underclass is linked with pathological behavior in urban areas” (p. 54). For those who are not personally confronted by poverty, their only understanding may lie in popular media coverage they view daily. For those ignorant of the true faces of poverty, it is easy to imagine how many falsely come to believe it is an individualized condition, brought on by no other than the character flaws of those living as depicted in the mainstream media. The article goes on to describe: “The media leave the impression that most poor people do not work: only 30 percent of poor adults were shown working or participating in job training programs…In reality, 50 percent of the poor work in full or part-time jobs, according to the CPS” (Clawson, R. A. & Trice, R, 2000, p. 60). With such large gaps between media portrayals and societal reality it is no wonder public opinion largely shies away from support for public policy to resolve issues of poverty. When many are taught through the media to think of poverty as a self-inflicted condition, troubling those who do not bother to strive for better lives, it is no wonder that it is not regarded as warranting a societal resolution. More accurate portrayals of poverty in the media could effectively garnish support for welfare policy just as inaccurate media portrayals of poverty discourage such support.

In the journal article titled Poverty as a Structural Failure author Rank (2005) mentions one main example of structural dysfunction which perpetuates American poverty as the inability of the U.S. Labor market to provide enough reasonably paying jobs for all families (p. 53). Due to the low earning potential for many living in poverty, it is difficult for them to make a living substantial enough to improve their lives. Many low income individuals are faced with the additional economic strain which comes with employment. Albelda and Shea (2010) explain: “these include the more obvious costs of transportation, child care, and out-of-home food…” For middle-upper income earning individuals these often taken-for-granted expenses produce a heavy burden for the impoverished. Albelda and Shea (2010) go on to explain: “…for many low-income parents those costs can also include a loss of government supports that help pay for the most basic of needs such as housing, food, medical care, and child care” (p. 246). With such stark economic consequences of employment, it seems illogical for many low income individuals to pursue jobs which offer low wages which are typically all that is available. It is necessary then, for the U.S, labor market to provide decent paying employment opportunities in order for families living below the poverty line to rise above it. Additionally, a change in criteria for many social programs developed for poor families to include wage earners would also improve their economic status. Without such opportunities families living in poverty are destined to float between employed impoverishment and unemployed destitution.

Another structural failing which Rank (2005) mentions is the ineffectiveness of the social safety net in preventing poverty. Rank explains: “compared to other Western industrialized countries, the United States devotes far fewer resources to programs aimed at assisting the economically vulnerable (p. 60). Americans are forced to go without the resources and opportunities available to their neighboring societies. Rank (2005) goes on to state “The united States has also failed to offer the type of universal coverage for child care, medical insurance, or child allowances that most other developed countries routinely provide” (p. 60). The lack of funding and support for such social programs in the U.S. is influenced by how recipients are viewed. While other western industrialized countries may perceive providing such resources as rights their people are entitled to, Americans view such practice as providing handouts for freeloaders. Ozawa (2008) states: “the classification of recipient groups is done with a moralistic overtone and stigma, and such families are blamed for their economic plight” (p. 7). While other citizens of other Westernized nations are provided with an adequate safety net to prevent many from experiencing poverty states, the U.S. leaves its citizens to fend for themselves in a disadvantaged society.

According to information gathered over twenty five years by the nationally representative Panel Study of Income Dynamics, many Americans will experience poverty at some point in their lives if not multiple times (Rank, 2005, p. 60) The majority of the causes are not due to individual deviances but by structural failing in American society. Through an analysis of  the data gathered, Rank (2005) explains that at age twenty 10.6 % of Americans fall below the poverty line and reports that by age 35, the  percentage of Americans experiencing poverty sharply increases with 31.4 percent of Americans having experienced at least one year below the poverty line (p. 63). With poverty being a condition that is likely to be experienced by large populations during one or few times throughout a lifetime, it is necessary to recognize that the problem lies beyond the individual. It would be preposterous to consider that 31.4 percent of Americans are morally inept and lazy, or otherwise undeserving of a more feasible life. Clearly, such widespread economic vulnerability symbolizes structural economic failing.

Social welfare policy could better respond to poverty and inequality by looking to the models of neighboring westernized countries. As Rank (2005) states: “Canada and Europe are able to lift a significant percentage of their economically vulnerable above the threshold of poverty through governmental transfer and assistance policies (p. 62) With the United States having one of the highest poverty rates among the industrial world, it is time to adopt a new perception of all those living in poverty as deserving of aid. It is a societal problem which must be addressed with societal remedies. Trading stigmatizing media representations of the poor for more accurate portrayals of poverty, advocacy for support of new and improved welfare programs, and normalizing efforts of existing assistance polices, are necessary in order to begin resolving the high poverty rates in the United States.

References

Albelda, R. & Shea, J. (2010).  To work more or not to work more: Difficult choices, complex decisions for low-wage parents.  Journal of Poverty, 14(3), 245-265.

Clawson, R. A. & Trice, R. (2000).  Poverty as we know it: Media portrayals of the poor.  Public Opinion Quarterly, 64(1), 53-64.

Ozawa, M. N. (2008).  Income security.  In T. Mizrahi & L. E. Davis (Eds.), The encyclopedia of social work.  National Association of Social Workers and Oxford University Press.

Rank, M. R. (2005).  Poverty as a structural failing.  In M. R. Rank, One nation, underprivileged: Why American poverty affects us all (pp. 49-82). New York: Oxford University Press.

Based on a True Story....

She looses track of time, but she's nothing like her mother who sits in a bed waiting to die from a disease she cannot remember the name of, diagnosed by a doctor who she has continued to know, since she started seeing him before her first symptoms. No, she is nothing like her mother, although she may end up like her if it is discovered that dementia is hereditary. For now, she looses track of time in a different way. She ignores that it happens, brushes it off like a seasonal cold that she can do nothing special about. Her children go months without hearing from her, but it makes hardly any difference to them because she scarred them so terribly when they were young, that it makes it difficult for them to miss her. She's married but her husband spends most of his weekends away participating in civil war reenactments which require a high level of commitment and availability to camp overnight. An outsider would observe that she lives a mostly solitary life but the truth is that she is in the permanent company of a family inside her mind.

One morning her daughter Katie who lived with her at the time, caught a glimpse of this crowded mind of hers.She had returned from one of her classes at college earlier than expected and had gone to her room without her mother realizing she was back in the house. Katie was busy changing out of her winter coat and boots when she heard her mother in the kitchen arguing with someone on the phone.

"No, of course you cannot do that, that would be ridiculous"
 Surprised to hear her mom talking on the phone, as she had no friends that Katie knew of, she listened closely for the rest of the conversation but heard her mother's voice respond to her previous statement.
"Of course you can, why would it be ridiculous? You have the right!"
Then, again her mother, not allowing any pauses for another person to speak, snapped: "No! Fucken listen to me, your going to end up getting screwed on this one."
Confused, Katie entered the kitchen only to be confronted by a yelp from her mother, "Katie! What are you doing home?!"
"I got out of class early, the professor let us go.Who were you talking to?"
"Nobody, I don't know what you are talking about, you just scared me."

Though Katie had heard her mother whisper to herself under her breath before it had mostly been a monologue of obscenities based on her disgust over the messiness of their house, or how much she loathed her kids. Katie had never actually heard her mother exchange in a dialogue with herself or between her and herself.

Oh, October

One thing I really appreciate about my life is that it continues to be completely different from one year to the next. At almost any point I can think back to the year before and smile at how different things were, for better or worse. How different my thinking was, how different my every day routine was, the places I went, the people I spent more time with. Sure, some things remain constant, usually the good things that I decide are worth keeping around but the big things seem to change year after year. I think this is probably normal for young adults but I hope it never stops. I love learning, growing, and having new experiences.

This year I am working in a methadone clinic which I really like. It has been a change from working in a residential setting and their are both things I appreciate and things I miss about it. I miss getting to know my clients the way that is only possible when you are with them in their living space but I also don't miss having to reprimand grown adults for neglecting chores or drinking too many juice boxes. I love most of the people I work with and appreciate getting to know more like minded people in my profession.

I still cannot afford to travel the way I yearn to.
I still have not written anything great.

I know I have a story, I think I may actually have two, but I still have not found my voice.

No matter what, all of my years in school (probably enough now to have earned me an MD had I been focused) has conditioned me to think of a year as beginning in September. I seem to become especially reflective during the month of October because of this, looking back at past journal entries both online and off it seems to have become a pattern.

For anyone who ever checks this blog out on a regular-semi regular basis

Check out my new blog about my experiment to live off of juiced vegetables and fruit in order to improve my quality of life:



Plants For Life