It's difficult to remind myself to live in the present moment. I always catch myself fantasizing about the future, whether it is the next year, the next month, the next day, or even the next hour. I must slow it down, breath in the moment, and feel excited right now.
I had this dream where I learned you can get anything you want as long as you commit time and energy to alluring it. A simple truth right?
I think it is so easy for us as humans or maybe even us as Americans to complicate our lives so unnecessarily, and allow our actions and thoughts to become so disconnected from our desires and needs. Sometimes all it takes is a paradigm shift in your mind to get what you want, other times its about conquering a irrational fear to take a perceived risk to get what you need.
What is stopping you from getting what you want or need out of life? What barriers or excuses or fears are getting in your way?
Sometimes, it is just reminding ourselves that we are not going to live forever that will push us. No amount of suffering is eternal, and no amount of pleasure is either. Just go for it, and go for it now.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Kim does not celebrate birthdays, she celebrates birth weeks! Her best friend will be born on the 4th and she'll take them out dancing on the 5th, sing them a song at a dinner on the 6th, and give them a card on the 7th. Kim will post a status all week long about her beloved friend's anniversary of birth and then she'll make sure she involves the occasion in every conversation. "Yes, I'd like to order one large cheese pizza and by the way it's my friend Jessica's birthday so could you maybe deliver her one too? Thanks!"
Kim does not look like the girls on the movie screens or on the boob tube, no Kim looks like a humming bird. She's small and spazzy but can keep her smile hovering in one spot over one book, lesson, or goon for hours. I once saw her smiling at a custodian with a limp and bad odor for a good forty five minutes while he told her his hard knock life story. She was studying for a test too, it was eastern philosophy by looks of the book she had opened in front of her lap which was titled Eastern Philosophy, and she really didn't have the time to listen to him, and there I was in that library staring at the clock panicking for her, she only had a few minutes until her next class where she would take her final exam. But a few minutes later their she was hovering over that test and she might have failed it but you would have no clue. A humming bird never stops moving, it only ever hovers and their is no pause for dissapointment or sadness or even confusion, their are only moments to hover and then to move on, through life. Kim is exactly so, Kim is a hummingbird.
Kim is also a gentle, kind, and caring soul and then you get to know her. She's like a jack in the box because you sort of have to wind her up to get the big surprise which is the big personality she has hidden from the masses. After you get to know her she'll tend to exhale a lot and say things like "boy am I glad I am comfortable around you now" and then she'll pretend she is a cat and tell you she is day dreaming about what mice and cheese taste like together on whole wheat bread. Her closest friends like to share their first impressions of Kim. "I thought she was the sweetest, most innocent looking girl, offering to help me find my car in a dark parking lot after a meeting." and "I thought she was so quiet and maybe snobby." Kim always reminds her friends that if she didn't hold back during their acquaintanceship they wouldn't have stuck around for friendship. This usually causes a sea of laughter among them who then switch to exchanging antidotes of Kim's personality. "One time she convinced me she was a serious student of time travel and had decided to apply to a school in London to work with the most progressive physics teacher of our modern time." and "One time, on our way to the movies she saw a large outdoor bbq and decided to pull over and crash it, it was our dinner before the movie with a bunch of confused strangers who politely offered us food and never asked who we were." Kim is so full of energy and social creativity that these types of conversations can carry on for entire evenings, she is often discussed of as if she has died, as if the void of her mortal absence could already be anticipated, because her lively presence is so richly satisfying. In easier words, being around Kim sometimes feels like eating a large piece of your favorite holiday pie or cheesecake.
That of course is not all Kim is, but for fear of making the reader thirsty with desire to meet this Kim if the reader has not yet begun to feel such a way, I think I'll get on with it, the story that is, though I really could use the next 340 pages describing her, in case you were beginning to suspect I don't know her anymore than what I have already stated. Well, you'll see that I do, anyhow, so here it goes, I am not starting from the beginning but from a place where I think it makes the most sense.
Or maybe I will start from the beginning:
Kim does not look like the girls on the movie screens or on the boob tube, no Kim looks like a humming bird. She's small and spazzy but can keep her smile hovering in one spot over one book, lesson, or goon for hours. I once saw her smiling at a custodian with a limp and bad odor for a good forty five minutes while he told her his hard knock life story. She was studying for a test too, it was eastern philosophy by looks of the book she had opened in front of her lap which was titled Eastern Philosophy, and she really didn't have the time to listen to him, and there I was in that library staring at the clock panicking for her, she only had a few minutes until her next class where she would take her final exam. But a few minutes later their she was hovering over that test and she might have failed it but you would have no clue. A humming bird never stops moving, it only ever hovers and their is no pause for dissapointment or sadness or even confusion, their are only moments to hover and then to move on, through life. Kim is exactly so, Kim is a hummingbird.
Kim is also a gentle, kind, and caring soul and then you get to know her. She's like a jack in the box because you sort of have to wind her up to get the big surprise which is the big personality she has hidden from the masses. After you get to know her she'll tend to exhale a lot and say things like "boy am I glad I am comfortable around you now" and then she'll pretend she is a cat and tell you she is day dreaming about what mice and cheese taste like together on whole wheat bread. Her closest friends like to share their first impressions of Kim. "I thought she was the sweetest, most innocent looking girl, offering to help me find my car in a dark parking lot after a meeting." and "I thought she was so quiet and maybe snobby." Kim always reminds her friends that if she didn't hold back during their acquaintanceship they wouldn't have stuck around for friendship. This usually causes a sea of laughter among them who then switch to exchanging antidotes of Kim's personality. "One time she convinced me she was a serious student of time travel and had decided to apply to a school in London to work with the most progressive physics teacher of our modern time." and "One time, on our way to the movies she saw a large outdoor bbq and decided to pull over and crash it, it was our dinner before the movie with a bunch of confused strangers who politely offered us food and never asked who we were." Kim is so full of energy and social creativity that these types of conversations can carry on for entire evenings, she is often discussed of as if she has died, as if the void of her mortal absence could already be anticipated, because her lively presence is so richly satisfying. In easier words, being around Kim sometimes feels like eating a large piece of your favorite holiday pie or cheesecake.
That of course is not all Kim is, but for fear of making the reader thirsty with desire to meet this Kim if the reader has not yet begun to feel such a way, I think I'll get on with it, the story that is, though I really could use the next 340 pages describing her, in case you were beginning to suspect I don't know her anymore than what I have already stated. Well, you'll see that I do, anyhow, so here it goes, I am not starting from the beginning but from a place where I think it makes the most sense.
Or maybe I will start from the beginning:
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